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invincible love
always and forever
sean jesse nichols
you are my world.
life without you is
unimaginable. you
mean more to me than anyone and
anything that i have
ever known. we have
our up's and down's
but we always make
it work in the end.
i am so in love with you
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this is a stupid thing that involves my so called 'love life'. i just
need some people who really know me to give me their opinions on what i
should do. cause i cant take this decision anymore.
DO I PICK ..1, ..2, OR ..3 ?
..1- be with: a guy who i've been talking to for a while and i have
a really genuine attraction to. who i cant ever get out of my head. he
wants to take things slowly and get to know each other and find out if
what we have is something real. the only problems here are the fact
that he is 19 and thats illegal. my personal views on that are that it
shoudnt matter. but that isnt the point here--- in turn the other
problem is that my parents would not everrrrrrr go for it. i mean they
say that they will TALK ABOUT it.. but i dont think that its going to
fly with them. so even though i am really starting to care for him-- im
wondering if the 'relationship' isnt worth the complications of it
all..
..2- be with: the guy who i used to refer to as the love of my
life. the one who i've always been there for through anything and
everything. notice i said I'VE been there for HIM. though most of the
time me and him have gotten along as friends or we were together- there
were all the times that he broke my heart. i trusted him over and over
and over again. and he would always promise that he would never do it
again. and he always did. there is no doubt that i still love him with
everything that i have.. but im also just not sure about trusting him
again. because the more time i've spent thinking about everything that
we've been through- the good and the bad- its like it all balances out.
even though he has put me through hell.. he is still the only person i
have ever truly loved. its too confusing. or is it?
..3- if you dont think i should choose either. tell me what you think i should do.
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after last night. and everything
that happened. i've been thinking.
a lot- its hard for me to decide
what the hell i wanna do with
all the new decisions and new
oppurtunities. do i wanna be with
him? of course i do. but am i afraid?
terrified.
here are my thoughts-
people make decisions.
some are based on fact.
some are based on opinion.
others are based merely on impulse.
its these impulsive decisions that make
people regret. when a choice is made in
impulse- there is very rarely much thought
about the overall outcome. and when you
make the same mistakes over and over- the
people who you hurt repeatedly in the process
find it hard to care when you finally come to
your senses. people forgive. people forget.
people fuck up. and people regret.
im done. peace out.
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the last entry i posted. it was about a love. a love that i now will officially declare OVER.
im done with putting up with love. and im done with getting hurt by it.
im done getting hurt by him.
so this is my closure.
the end.
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